Parents often wonder what parenting is all about. As there are so many variables in each person’s personality and behaviour, there is no single right or wrong way of bringing up a child. Each person’s past life determines his present concepts of parenting.
A parent is constantly on a journey of exploration. The pathway is cobbled with problems, surprises, complications and joys. However, each parent has a common goal of developing a better relationship with the child. Most parents are flattered and feel a sense of control when their child emulates them. But what about the time when you do not clearly see yourself in the child? As a parent you have certain expectations of how your child should behave, but his or her behaviour may not model your own. Your child may not behave in a way that you deem appropriate. His or her choices may be different from yours.
This shatters many parents.
By making fewer emotional demands, you will be able to get other needs met by your child. If you push your child against the wall, you will face resistance and defiance.
Letting her find her own way is often difficult, but it comes with long term rewards of trust and love.
Loving and concerned parents at times get disappointed when their growing children become independent and self-sufficient.
These are healthy signs.
You have to raise your children to be independent and emotionally self-sufficient, but at the same time loving and caring towards you. The individuality of children needs to be respected.
If children differ from parents who have constantly and selflessly nurtured them or made sacrifices for them, they should not feel let down and neither should this lead to conflict in the relationship.
For as Kahlil Gibran has written-
‘Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.’
Source @ The Progressive TEACHER by S Media Group